April 07, 2017
This is the story of a struggling engineering sophomore, diagnosed with clumsiness. Take a trip with me, to know the five badass ways to break your bones.
1. Ride a cycle: Ask your parents to buy a new cycle for you and your sibling. Take the newly bought cycles directly to a park for a test ride. Try to race your sibling. Be careless while overtaking him/her, lose balance, and fall. Please make sure the cycle’s handlebar falls directly on your wrist.
2. Run down the stairs: Imagine your cycle is about to be purloined. You can see the thief nearing your cycle from the first floor. Run down the stairs in a frenzy. While taking the last step, lose balance and twist your ankle. At the end, you realise there was no thief. It was just your imagination.
3. Try doing stunts: While practising for a dance competition, suggest to your friends that you’re interested in doing stunts. Ask them to assist you in performing a backflip. Somehow, strain your arms in doing so. You’ll end up with a mild fracture.
4. Play outdoors: Gather around twenty of your friends and ask them to play basketball with you. While defending the ball, ask one of your closest friends in the opposing team - who is willing to break your bones - to push you and snatch the ball. Try falling in an awkward position, for a better outcome.
5. Random: Just hope that your leg swells up on its own. When it does, take long walks and go on with your daily routine. You can limp around the campus for a week.
I’ve navigated through the dangers of breaking bones but failed miserably. Happy breaking, you all!
Note: All of these points has been performed by a professional. Don’t try this at home/college. These are the only ways ventured by the author. She will educate you with more methods, once she experiences them.